One Person

All it takes is one. One to prove to me that the whole world is not the same. One to show me that someone cares. One to be there for me. One to mean the world to me.

Friday, April 4, 2008

*sigh*
*sigh*

It feels like forever since we last hung out.

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Truth is, I guess I miss you. I miss our great conversations, the inside jokes, the quiet understanding, the random texts. Maybe it's because we don't have a class together anymore, and we're slowly pulling apart.I sure hope not.This morning I don't know why, but I had the urge to send you a text. And I did. I don't know if it meant anything to you, if it came at the right moment or not, but either way, don't forget that I'm there for you. I know that you've got lots on your mind, so don't let me get in the way like I have before. Just know that when I see you sign in, I always smile. It's so great to talk to you.

Always friends,

G

Sorry, I had to repost it because it means so much to me. I feel down, read it and know that it will work out. Everything will be okay because one person cares. Someone wants me around. Thank you again! You mean more to me then words will ever describe.

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Angels

Okay, so I feel like blogging tonight.


This one is dedicated to a few very important people in my life; mainly L and G.

I am starting believe with my whole heart that they were sent from heaven to protect me. I truly believe they are my angels. Okay, so this blog is going to take a lot of guts and is probably going to be one of the more shocking and most brutally honest ones yet.

Alright, so here it goes. L and G, you have saved me many times. You have been there for me on countless occasions, seen me at my worst, and helped me through more than you could ever imagine, and you still are there for me. But this time you saved my life.

Now please don't go and think that I'm crazy and want to kill myself or anything. It's just sometimes life gets way too much for me to handle. There have been a few times where I have thought that everyone would probably just be better off without me. No more drama, no more having to come to my rescue, nothing. Now I won't go into details or explain much, because frankly, there's reason I have never said anything. But I will admit this; I know I have fallen into depression a few times now. Thanks to your help and support I was able to pull through and be okay again.

With everything that has gone on lately, I knew you would be there. Now I have no idea how you do it G, but you ALWAYS seem to know the exact moment to say or do something. You don't even have to be near me. Seriously, you could be half way around the world and still know what to say, knowing absolutely nothing at all. So when I got that text this morning, I smiled. Let me put it this way, this week has been terrible. I was all alone by my locker, just thinking and my pocket starts vibrating. I thought maybe it was Sean cancelling or Brian letting me know he wasn't going to be there today, but no, it was you simply asking how I was. That two line text made my whole day. Even as I sit and think about what happened, 15 hours ago, I still smile. Then talking to you tonight and reading your blogs, well I smiled again. You helped me yet again with family problems, then topped it off with a blog that meant more to me than if someone would have given me a million dollars.

L, you amaze me time and time again. All it took to make me feel even the slightest bit better, was a hug in the hall way. Then I wrote you a letter. Your reply made me so happy. Reading that note was the first time I had smiled the whole day. I was genuinely happy. I knew someone cared and that's all that mattered to me.

So, to both of you, I love you both with all my heart. You are my true family. The ones who actually care and love me as well.

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A Simple Request

A simple request is all I have; tell me what you think of me to my face and not behind my back. Seem relatively easy? Great! Now do it. I mean, okay fine, someone else has said mean, nasty things about me yet again, but seriously, my family? The people who are supposed to be there for me in both good and bad times? Ouch! Ouch is all I have to say to you.

So lets just get down to this. Yes, I'll admit, I can be a "bitch" at times. I know that, and guess what, no ones perfect....There are plenty of times you have been mean and nasty to me. As for me not being a "normal" girl, well that's just stupid. Sure, I act crazy and I don't always act my age, but maturity is knowing when and where to be immature. Give me a little credit. I also know that I do not dress like a "normal" girl nor do I wear any make. Well, don't know if you realized it or not but I am confident enough in who I am and how I look to not put on ten pounds of make up everytime I leave the house. God forbid I don't dress like everyone else in the world either. I wear what I find comfortable. Don't like it? Tough.

On a side note, notice how every normal is in quotations? Frankly it's because I don't think there is such a thing as "normal"...

Anyway, I guess what bugs me most is the action my parents have taken; zero. It hurts to know that they can sit there, in the vehicle where this is taking place, and say nothing. You don't have to defend me or anything, but don't just sit there. Maybe I'm wrong here, not being a parent myself, but maybe its right to say that its wrong to say such nasty things about family? Who knows I guess.

So in conclusion, I had once called you my sister, my best friend, and the one who knew the most about me, and now I have no clue what to call you. Usually when this happens, its with friends, or other people where I can just say "Oh well, there's others out there who like me for who I am". I mean isn't that what you'r family's for; to accept and love you no matter what? Now what do I do? You wonder why I'm never home and treat me like this when I am around. Please, someone make the connection. I enjoy being with my friends because they actually DO love me for who I am and not who I have to be. All I am asking for is the same respect everyone else gets and for my own family not to judge me. It hurts.

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