.Secret #7.

I have high hopes for 2009 =]

Happy New Year All!

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Left Behind

Have you ever felt like everyone around you is moving on without you? Well that's how I feel now.

It seems like everyone I know has that special someone, moved on, and I've stayed still. I mean, someone knows someone feels the same way as they do, someone else thinks they found love somewhere unexpected, another isn't sure just quite yet but is well on their way. And then there's me. Stuck in the same spot because I can't seem to say anything.

Ugh, I wish I knew what to do.

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P.S. This is just me complaining

...Bored

1. What should you be doing right now?
Probably studying

2. Is there any particular reason you do these interviews?
I'm bored

3. Do you like someone?
I do. A lot. And I don't know what to do anymore. If you have any advice please help me out.

4. Do they like you back?
I'd hope so, but I couldn't say for sure. It'd be a lot easier if I knew or if someone told me.

5. Are you angry at someone?
I'm not

6. Are they angry at you?
...

7. What's bugging you right now?
That I don't know what to say or how to say it.

8. Would you change who you are if it would make someone accept you?
No, I would not.

9. What are you longing for the most?
To be with someone again.

10. What are you apprehensive about?
My birthday

11. First thing on your left:
My dog

12. First thing on your right:
Table

13. One thing in your pocket:
Gift cards

14. Something flammable near you:
Blanket?

15. Last thing you had to drink:
Milk

16. Last time you were outside:
When I got home

17. How many tabs/windows open in your browser?
2

18. How many friends online?
18

19. How many texts today?
Two

20. Last e-mail?
From Blockbuster

How Many:
21: Facebook Friends?
256 I think

22: MSN Contacts?
241

23: Cell Phone Contacts?
90 I believe

24: How many songs on your iPod/MP3?
238

25: Texts in your inbox?
9

26: E-mails in your inbox?
52

27: Unread e-mails?
none

28: Voicemails?
None

29: MSN Conversations going on right now?
None

30: Hours have you been awake?
13 Exactly

31. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
A time Machine

32. One song that's stuck in your head
None at the moment

33. Last thing you bought?
Pizza

34. What are you going to do tomorrow?
Go dress shopping with my mom, possibly hang out with Brian =]

35. What time is it?
10:16pm

36. If you knew you were going to die in exactly 24 hours, what would you do?
Go visit my friends, take my family with me, tell someone very special what they mean to me. Maybe go skydiving

37. Why don't you do these things now?
Mainly because I'm afraid of what would happen

38. If you could change one thing in your life right now, what would it be?
I wouldn't be afraid anymore

39. One wish for everyone in the world
They all experience absolute happiness

40. One picture that you find very meaningful/special/beautiful
Its one from not too long ago, of me and two of the best friends a person could have. We have extremely special shirts on and I smile every time I see it. These people are so special to me, I don't think they realize.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

I love you all so much!!

Hope you get everything you ever wished for!

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My Wish

I love this song!!

My Wish - Rascal Flatts

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you wanna go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
But more than anything, more than anything...
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, more than anything...
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
Yeah, yeah.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish (my wish, for you).
This is my wish (my wish, for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you (my wish, for you).
May all your dreams stay big (my wish, for you).

And that is my wish for all my friends not only for Christmas, but forever!

I love you all!

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High School

Some days I hate High School. I hate the petty drama, I hate how everyone is so fake, I hate the 'groups'.

I know when I'm not wanted. Trust me, you may not think I do, but I do. I know that if you all it took to be with that group of people was to ditch us, you would. I get it. They're popular and we're not. That doesn't bother me, never has and never will. I don't enjoy the 'popular' scene anyway. They drink, smoke, gossip, make out, and what not. It's not me. But if you ask me, you have some pretty amazing friends. I know I wouldn't give them up for the world.

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Selfish

Okay, I'm going to be selfish for a little bit here. Just a little rant.

I guess its hard to love something so much and have none of your family want to share that with you. Is it really that hard to give up a couple of hours to see what I've done? I was really proud of it this time. I did more than juts push a button. Whatever happen to you being proud of me?

Also, when will I get my time with my dad? That's all I've been asking for weeks now. Then all of a sudden my sister gets to do my absolute favorite thing with my dad; go to a hockey game. That used to be our thing, and now everyone wants to go? That's hard to deal with. If you want to get me a gift that will make me cry this Christmas, get me a day out with just my dad. That would do it.

Okay, honestly guys, is it really that hard to include us? I mean, this show means the world to her but shopping is more important? And since where do you get the idea that you can say things like "It's just a show, who really cares about it anyway? It's not like it's important anyway"? It may not seem like a big thing, or may not be something you're interested in, but its what a lot of us want to do for the rest of our lives. This is what we had been doing for 3 months, so yeah, it was kind of a big deal. Even if it was "only two shows".

I don't understand you anymore. All I want to know is where you stand, what your feelings are towards me. I don't even care if you don't like me, this guessing game is killing me. But I guess I can't blame you, I can't seem to just say that I like you. I mean, is it really that hard? Apparently. But, what I do ask of you is that if you don't like me, please stop standing so close. It's kind of hard to breath.

Follow your heart. Don't do this for me, or for her, or for family or friends. Do this for yourself. If your heart says go, go. If not, stay here. But whatever you do, do NOT regret it. If things don't work out, use it as a learning experience. You are an amazing person who deserves someone equally amazing. Now, I have never met this person but from what hear/read she has a giant heart that has room for something potentially incredible. Don't stay because you're afraid and don't go because you feel you have to, do what you in your heart know is right. That is the path you should take.

Love for all

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Ready, Set, Breath

Okay, stressful week! But now its almost over, so everyone just breath. This weekend we can all sleep, relax, and just get back to our normal selves. I know its stressful now, but just think about how great everything will be when it goes up. I know you all maybe extremely stresses and not enjoying yourself but look at it through my eyes. I have never had the opportunity to do something like this! I am loving it! I may complain about getting up early or whatever but I really am loving it. I'm using it as a learning experience. So if people aren't enjoying it, I'm sorry you're missing out on something wonderful.

Anyway, on another note (besides the shows), I'm having a really good, tiring but good, week! I'm not sure what the reasoning is behind it, its just been great. Something that really made me smile was the lunch lady coming up to me today and complimenting me. She said that she really like the color of my hair and that it made my eyes look really pretty. Considering no one had really said too much to me about it, and I don't get compliments that often, it was really nice.

Oh, talking about compliments....This is going to sound very contradicting, but I have recently realized that I honestly don't like recognition. I enjoy getting compliments, but to be recognized for something I have done, or am doing, yeah I don't particularly like it. It's really weird but it makes me feel uncomfortable. I've gotten used to G&G (hehe, thats cool) getting thanked and stuff for all the tech stuff and it really doesn't bother me. I'm just glad to be apart of it. =]

I ate lunch with M today. It was really nice. We got to catch up and she helped me out a lot. She also got to see a real live Melissa Mouth Failure! It was exciting! HAHA, well at least now someone else has seen it and knows how funny it all is. Though it all worked out because my Broken Mouth Syndrome didn't catch me in time just a little bit later! Yay for being able to talk!Hehe

Anyway, bed is calling!!

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DisturBED

I now know I am exhausted! Well at the Disturbed concert, they had their name on a big backdrop behind them. Of course the only letters I could focus on were BED. Yep, exhaustion's hit....

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