So I went to Edmonton today. I went with on of my best friends ever. I had so much fun =]
Thanks for joining me on my Edmonton Adventure. I don't remember the last time I had that much fun!
*touches nose*
hehe
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Thursday, February 12, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Ouch
"I can't trust that if someone calls or something comes up that she'll stay here."
Twist the knife a little more why don't you? Situation; parents are going away for the weekend meaning me and my sister have to stay alone. Problem; she thinks I'm going to go out all weekend and never be home. I have already promised to only work Friday night and Sunday night, not to go out at all, and spend all weekend with her.
That comment was followed by a "Sorry, I just can't trust her." Wow, never would I have thought that my family wouldn't take my word. Never would I just ditch anyone in my family after promising that. Never.
I hate being here lately. I have to walk on eggshells whenever I'm here otherwise I'll end up pissing someone off. I have to be someone I'm not, just to make people happy. It sucks. I have been thinking about living with my mom, but then again, I would really miss my dad. The other people here I wouldn't really care, since they clearly don't care for/about me.
So I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.
<3>
Twist the knife a little more why don't you? Situation; parents are going away for the weekend meaning me and my sister have to stay alone. Problem; she thinks I'm going to go out all weekend and never be home. I have already promised to only work Friday night and Sunday night, not to go out at all, and spend all weekend with her.
That comment was followed by a "Sorry, I just can't trust her." Wow, never would I have thought that my family wouldn't take my word. Never would I just ditch anyone in my family after promising that. Never.
I hate being here lately. I have to walk on eggshells whenever I'm here otherwise I'll end up pissing someone off. I have to be someone I'm not, just to make people happy. It sucks. I have been thinking about living with my mom, but then again, I would really miss my dad. The other people here I wouldn't really care, since they clearly don't care for/about me.
So I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this.
<3>
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Just Because
Okay, so I just watched myself on tv. I'm so glad I only saw the last 5 minutes. I probably will never try and watch it completely.
Those 2 weeks were complete hell for me. I was in tears almost everyday and it was really hard for me, so for me to go through it again would be way too difficult. I never wanted to do the show in the first place. I did it because if I didn't my family would be very disappointed in me and any time the dogs acted up, it would have been my fault since I didn't do the show.
I never told anyone when the show was going to be on. This includes my mom. I don't want that embarrassment. I never want to be reminded of this show.
On a better note, I went up on the scaffolding today. I don't think anyone really realizes how big of an accomplishment this is for me. Heights has always been on of my biggest fears, and for me to be able to just climb up and do stuff is amazing. A few weeks ago I was so scared I couldn't even think about going up, and now I can do it. One of my biggest motivations was to show a few people that I can really do things, I just do it on my own time. I just hope they're truly proud of me, or at least someone is.
I really miss my dad. He is my rock and I've had a really hard time without him. I always have a hard time without him. This week has just been really hard.
Lately I've kind of felt like no one really wants to hear what I say, and just don't care. This has been really hard for me because recently I've been really proud of myself. I've been the person I really want to, the person I really am. And for people to not want to know that person, that hurts. I've been okay with being alone in a class, and I don't care what people have thought. I have just let loose and have a good time.
I'm sorry, I'm just not in the best of moods.
G, Thank you so much, the fact that you care means the world.
<3>
Those 2 weeks were complete hell for me. I was in tears almost everyday and it was really hard for me, so for me to go through it again would be way too difficult. I never wanted to do the show in the first place. I did it because if I didn't my family would be very disappointed in me and any time the dogs acted up, it would have been my fault since I didn't do the show.
I never told anyone when the show was going to be on. This includes my mom. I don't want that embarrassment. I never want to be reminded of this show.
On a better note, I went up on the scaffolding today. I don't think anyone really realizes how big of an accomplishment this is for me. Heights has always been on of my biggest fears, and for me to be able to just climb up and do stuff is amazing. A few weeks ago I was so scared I couldn't even think about going up, and now I can do it. One of my biggest motivations was to show a few people that I can really do things, I just do it on my own time. I just hope they're truly proud of me, or at least someone is.
I really miss my dad. He is my rock and I've had a really hard time without him. I always have a hard time without him. This week has just been really hard.
Lately I've kind of felt like no one really wants to hear what I say, and just don't care. This has been really hard for me because recently I've been really proud of myself. I've been the person I really want to, the person I really am. And for people to not want to know that person, that hurts. I've been okay with being alone in a class, and I don't care what people have thought. I have just let loose and have a good time.
I'm sorry, I'm just not in the best of moods.
G, Thank you so much, the fact that you care means the world.
<3>
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