UGH!

Ugh, Not again...
Honestly how stupid can I be? I've done this before and it did not end well, not even close. So knowing that, why am I doing it again? Why am I setting myself up for disaster and hurt? Now we have an awesome, so why take the risk to ruin it? Why even think these things? I know it would never work.

So why, even having all these facts, do I smile when you sign in? Why do I constantly find myself waiting for you? How is it that one random text can make my day? Why can I not wait to see you again?

And how can you be doing this to me? Why now? Why all of a sudden? What changed? Are you just using me for revenge? They take someone so you take someone? Do you just need a friend? Or are you truly interested?

And knowing all this, its different from last time. You initiate things now, you never did before. You text me when you're with your friends, like you not afraid to have people know you're texting me. It's like you want this to work this time and you'll do everything in your power to prevent it from failing. You talk to me into all hours of the night. You just want to know what I'm doing and thinking, like you care this time.

What's different? What's changed? Is it me, or you?

Now do you see why I'm excited, nervous, overwhelmed, and scared, all at the same time, to see you again? Do I still try and get together with you, or do I leave it in fears that this amazing thing we have now will die? I wish you read this so you could help me out with all of this.

Can you now see why I'm so confused about everything? About the last couple of days? About what lies ahead? About where to step next?

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